


I Never

by Onlymystory



Series: Teenagers and Their Games [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack Fic, Drinking Games, I Never, Multi, all the couples/pairings are referenced, but i'm may do one-shots of some of the stuff mentioned if y'all want them, sorry no actual sex in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:59:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onlymystory/pseuds/Onlymystory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s spring break, senior year of college, and the entire pack is back home. This time around, they bought the alcohol—the good stuff—and have settled in for a more age appropriate round of “I Never”.<br/>Stiles tells Danny he should start, figuring Danny’s nice enough to bring up something that everyone will drink to, just to get the ball rolling. Stiles sometimes overestimates Danny’s niceness.<br/>Danny grins, with the kind of evil that could rival Lydia. “I never 69’d another pack member.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never

**Author's Note:**

> I said I’d do an “I Never” crack fic eventually. I blame my current mood on the pics from today’s table read. Between Hoechlin’s v-neck, Dylan’s sex hair, and Ian’s EVERYTHING, the world is conspiring to kill me before the season ever begins.  
> Quick disclaimer: While set in the same verse as Spin the Bottle & 7 Minutes in Heaven, Derek has relaxed his possessive nature. He’s still totally possessive but he kind of likes it when Stiles occasionally (not too often obvs) hooks up with someone else because then Derek gets to spend all night getting rid of the other person’s scent. The others are also fairly non-possessive but not quite as flexible as to who they’ll sleep with. This disclaimer will be relevant later.

It’s spring break, senior year of college, and the entire pack is back home. This time around, they bought the alcohol—the good stuff—and have settled in for a more age appropriate round of “I Never”.

The thing is, since high school things have changed a bit. There are still certain couples or threesomes. Derek and Stiles are going strong, Danny and Jackson are sickeningly adorable. Scott, Allison, and Isaac have worked out a rotation because love each other as they do, Isaac and Allison have never been able to feel anything beyond platonic towards each other.

Boyd and Erica faded away from their open relationship policy around sophomore year, deciding they preferred to keep things between the two of them.

Everyone suspects that Lydia has an ongoing arrangement with Peter Hale but there’s not a soul alive who brings it up.

But even amongst it all, there’s a certain fluidity in the pack. The romances are more solidified, but they are a very affectionate pack and the years at college intensified it.

So while I Never is a great game in theory, and should start out simple, with the ‘I Never wanted to kiss another pack member’ or ‘I never had a sex dream about one of the pack that I’m not dating’ kind of questions, everyone jumps into the thoroughly embarrassing questions right away.

Stiles tells Danny he should start, figuring Danny’s nice enough to bring up something that everyone will drink to, just to get the ball rolling. Stiles sometimes overestimates Danny’s niceness.

Danny grins, with the kind of evil that could rival Lydia. “I never 69’d another pack member.”

As expected, Lydia and Jackson both drink.

Equally as expected, Scott and Isaac do not. They may fuck like rabbits but they’re surprisingly conservative.

Slightly unexpectedly, Boyd and Erica don’t drink. This kind of surprises Isaac in that ‘I really don’t want to think too much about this’ kind of way.

The shocking drinkers? Allison and Stiles, both of whom drink quickly and rather sheepishly.

Scott gapes at them. “Stiles?! I thought you were gay!”

“I’m bisexual, Scott,” returns Stiles. “Means I can eat the entire buffet.”

“There’s an image I never needed,” snarks Boyd.

“Bu—but Allison?” tries Scott again.

“Oh my god, I didn’t 69 Allison!” yelps Stiles.

“Obviously. You and Derek are ridiculous,” says Lydia.

Danny snickers.

Scott still looks completely confused. Stiles is being abnormally quiet.

Allison takes pity on him. “Sweetie, when you and Isaac want to be alone, Lydia and I don’t sit around painting our nails.”

While Scott deals with this news, because everyone can clearly see it’s taking him a minute, Erica focuses in on Stiles.

“Derek didn’t drink,” she notes. And as though realizing the next likely culprit she adds, “Neither did Danny.”

Even Scott snaps his head over to Stiles.

Derek is dying of laughter.  

The rest of them put the pieces together as Derek wipes tears from his eyes and Danny dissolves into a giggle fit.

“Jackson?!?!” shrieks Lydia.

Stiles and Jackson turn beet red.

“How does that even happen?” sputters Isaac.

“Um, you remember that lacrosse tournament sophomore year of college?” starts Stiles. “I convinced the coach to let me go for team shit but I was really there to get some information from a coven down in San Diego. Jackson and I might have gotten a tiny bit wasted.”

“A tiny bit?” comments Derek dryly.

“So who was better?” asks Allison. At the looks from the pack, she huffs. “What? Like we all weren’t thinking it.”

Jackson doesn’t even hesitate. “Stiles.”

Erica unashamedly leers at Stiles.

“I don’t know where the fuck he learned how to use his tongue like that but I’ve never come so hard in my life.” He takes a long drink of his beer. “Sorry Danny.”

Danny just elbows Derek. “Can I borrow Stiles next week?”

“Stiles is right here!” yelps the man in question.

“Did you not want to suck Danny’s cock?” asks Derek.

Stiles glares at him because it is totally not fair that his boyfriend knows him that well. “See you Thursday, Danny,” he mutters.

Derek laughs again and the rest of the pack cracks up right along with him.

“I hate all of you,” says Stiles, but he laughs too.

~

“This is actually purely for curiosity’s sake,” begins Boyd.  “I never had public sex on the hood of a car.”

Derek, Stiles, Scott and Isaac drink.

No one comments on Derek and Stiles because duh.

There are a few raised eyebrows at the other two.

“Damn McCall,” says Jackson with a laugh. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“He didn’t,” smirks Isaac.

~

Scott thinks for several minutes when he finally gets a turn and finally comes up with “I never made a sex tape.”

The pack waits a minute, because this isn’t the first time they’ve played this game and they all know how Scott likes to play. Whereas most of them want to embarrass each other, Scott likes to feel that he (and either Isaac or Allison) will be the only ones drinking.

But as Erica put it once, their sweet, innocent little Scott, will never be able to think of something that everyone else hasn’t done multiple times.

Unless it’s naming kissing as a favorite sex act. Because yes, that was Scott’s “I Never” during the Christmas game.

Scott drinks first, as do Isaac and Allison, with a proud smirk on his face.

Until the entire rest of the pack drinks as well.

“Seriously?!” complains Scott.

“Bro, I love you, but Derek and I first taped us over summer break after senior year,” interjects Stiles.

The others note their own well-documented experience with sex tapes, and tips. Scott pouts until Isaac comes over and kisses Scott until he smiles.

~

Everyone insists on an easy question so they can take a break.

 Derek jokingly says “I never got married in Vegas”.

 Turning beet red, Boyd and Erica drink.

“What?!” squeals Allison.

“When?” demands Isaac.

“Three weeks ago,” admits Boyd.

“We were waiting until the break to tell everyone,” explains Erica. “At tomorrow’s pack meeting with everyone.”

Derek looks horrified. “I swear I had no idea.”

Erica hurries to reassure him. “I know, I know. Besides, kind of hard to predict any of us would drink to that.”

There’s another moment of silent shock among the pack until Lydia and Isaac seem to recover at the same time.

“Congratulations!” beams Lydia, moving around the table to hug Erica tightly.

Isaac pulls Boyd in for a massive and the momentary break ends up being a good ten minutes of congratulations and insistence on hearing the entire story.

~

Jackson kicks off the next round once drinks are refilled and pizza has been ordered. “I never roleplayed.”

“And it’s a damn shame,” remarks Danny.

Derek, Erica, Stiles, Lydia, and Allison drink.

“Explanations are a must,” says Jackson, refusing to let anyone off that easy.

“I think everyone knows about the time Erica and I did the whole Batman/Catwoman thing,” says Stiles.

“Oh right,” notes Danny. “Totally forgot about that one.”

“Lydia, Allison and I have an ongoing Sailor Moon inspired cosplay,” answers Erica.

Derek shrugs. “I just think roleplaying is fun.”

“Wait,” interrupts Jackson. “The roleplaying is your idea?”

Derek gives him an annoyed look. “I’m not always the growling Alpha, Jackson. Everyone has kinks.”

“Oh sweet mother of god, I never needed to know that our Alpha likes to get kinky,” moans Scott.

“That’s not what I said, Scott. But…”

Derek sticks his tongue out at Scott because riling him up is just way too easy.

Before one of their usual bickering matches can start, Stiles jumps in. “You guys should see Derek when we go punk. So hot.”

Danny and Lydia happily take a moment to picture it. It’s a really, really good picture.

~

“I never asked my boyfriend to shift into his wolf form before fucking me,” says Stiles with a malicious grin when it’s his turn.

Allison and Lydia glare at him but they both drink.

Lydia whispers in Allison’s ear.

“I never made out with a pack member’s father,” says Allison. And then her face gets a look of sheer horror on it as Stiles sheepishly drinks. “YOU MADE OUT WITH MY DAD?!?!”

“IT WAS ONE TIME.”

“Dude,” interrupts Scott. “Seriously? Argent?”

“I will have you know that Chris Argent is a fucking DILF.”

“Amen,” echoes Danny.

Lydia nods in agreement.

“Oh god these are things I never needed to know,” moans Allison, throwing her head into her hands.

“How did you even manage that?” asks Jackson, slightly incredulous.

“It was one of the weekends that I was the only one in town and Derek was out of town and I was…um…”

“Shamelessly horny,” supplies Derek.

Stiles rolls his eyes at him. “Bored. Anyway, Derek joked that if I could find someone to go for it but with the pack gone, I was shit out of luck. So I told him I’d hold him to that and headed for Jungle.”

Allison raises her head slightly. “My dad was at Jungle?” she asks in disbelief.

“No, Peter was at Jungle and he may have mentioned the idea of a threesome after I’d had like four long islands, and yeah,” explains Stiles.

“Threesome?!” squeaks Allison. “You said made out.”

Boyd leans in, looking for all the world like he’s relishing this moment. “Well obviously making out happened at some point Alli.”

“We sort of interwove the making out with everything else,” says Stiles, a little bit of mischief in his voice. If his dirty secrets are being aired tonight, he’s making everyone else miserable. “I actually never pictured Chris as a bottom, but that night…”

Jackson and Erica snort their drinks onto the table.

The huntress completely gives up on everyone and buries her face back in her arms. “Stiles, please tell me how to shut you up. I don’t need to know these things.”

Derek grins. “Your dad probably knows how to do that.”

Allison doesn’t look up as she throws the rest of her drink at him.


End file.
